im about as happy as oj after his trial
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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