I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
