Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
