How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
