Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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