Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
