Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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