one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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