Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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