hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think your dad took our porno
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
