You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
