i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
