No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my being single is dangerous.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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