I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
