Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
