hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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