And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
