If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize