I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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