Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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