i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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