He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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