They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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