His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
