oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I bet he comes in French.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
