So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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