you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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