He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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