remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
