I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
