I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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