I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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