Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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