I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
