It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
