We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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