Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
