im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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