at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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