Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
