Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
