But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
