im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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