How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
