In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
