He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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