Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
