He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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