i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
