A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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